Animal Planet Mo

I used to want to be a writer...a professor of cultural anthropology...I wanted higher learning and respect from others. Now, I am a mama...I want to be a good mama but I keep getting all this negative feedback about my "wild" child. It hurts me...very badly.
I can't help that I am unable to devote the time I need to give him. I have to pay bills. I have to do errands. I have people who need me for this and for that...Iam not trying to put anyone before my child. It just happens to all connect to making this home run. And, shit, I am so tired of hearing about my boy being out of control.
I wish people were here when it is just us. When we are colouring or reading...singing songs...gardening. It is peaceful and beautiful. He is an amazing, beautiful, funny little boy. He astounds me.
Someone recently referred to him as an animal. Joking, I guess, but it hurt like hell. I was caught between wanting to crack the person over the head with the glass I was drinking out of and wanting to cry.
YES! My boy acts up when people are here or we are somewhere new. He a very curious, very smart, very energetic child. It's his JOB. He's freakin' two and three quarters of age.
He is my treasure. He is my beauty. He is the air I breath.
Fuck anyone who can't see that in him...and in me. Fuck them hard.

Jack Frost Be Nippin'...

As Christmas approaches, I am inundated with images of what should be in our holly jolly, sliding that card action, red bow placin', Ugg Boot wearin', scarf chokin', Holiday. As a financially struggling American, I am once again subject to the haves and have nots. As a newer parent, it is breaking my heart.
Every year, I gaze out my back door across the street and stare at that house. That house with the perfectly placed dripping icicle lights. I watch as they leave the front curtain open as they entertain. I see the warm candle light and the people in sweaters sitting at the bar between the kitchen and parlor. I watch as people arrive with big shining boxes and watch them as they leave giggling from Christmas cheer. They are a perfect American family to my eyes. They even have the Golden Retriever who, no kidding, gets the paper for them.
I dream of that kind of existence where I have a giant tree piled with gifts for everyone I love.
Well, that's not the case here. There is no tree. (Why spend money on a tree when I could buy my kids gifts?) There is no entertaining. (When do we find the time and money to entertain.?) And there aren't piles of gifts anywhere. (How will I afford them?).
All I want is for my kids to wake up to toys and gadgets...to the smell of yummy things baking...to red bows and shining gifts...But that's not how it is...
They will wake up to one or two gifts...not under a tree but placed where they can find them. They will wake up to the smell of coffee and some oatmeal. Maybe we will have a simple Christmas dinner or maybe we will join family. I am not sure year to year.
What I do know is they will wake up loved. They will laugh and play. They will appreciate what they have because they will always know there may be someone else watching us from their backyard...hearing us laugh...seeing us hug and kiss...and wondering why we don't have lights, and trees, and parties,....and big shining boxes...yet can still be happy.

"Stefano Capone YAY!!! I just got word that I've been cast in the lead role of Sheriff Tucker in 'Shake'!!! And Dixie was cast as Beth, also a co-starring role!!! Special thanks to my acting coach Lance Nichols (New Orleans). Without his help in honing my skills, this never would have happened. Thanks Lance!!!"

Dead Celebs

Today is a sad day...Blanche has passed away. I loved Rue. I am sad for her passing and for those who loved her (in real life). But, what I am thinking about as I see comments on celebrity deaths is kind of B.S., in my oppinion. Gary Coleman passed...all of a sudden this nasty tempered little man is a saint who carried people through their childhood. Anna Nicole passed...all of a sudden this poor woman who was the ass end of everyone's jokes is a beloved, little lost girl who tragically passed. Who knew all those pills and alcohol could do that to someone!? And, of course, Michael Jackson. Is it only me or does anyone else remember the whole child molester thing? I realize he was never convicted but ALL the cards were stacked in the guilty direction. Yeah, he was a musical and marketing genius but COME ON!!!!! Normal people don't have sleep overs with children who AREN'T their own!
So, I guess my bitch is that people die then become saints in the eyes of the general public.
Just thinking out loud...No big news to you, I'm sure.

True Colours

I was colouring with my baby today and started to remember how I hated those safe little kids who would colour lightly...making it just so...making it perfect...I thought they were missing out on the magick of colouring. As Boston scribbled and squealed, I remembered how I would colour so boldly...deep, rich colours. I would press and push those crayons until they nearly broke. As I watched my boy draw whatever...scrawling lines and swirls...so pleased with his creations....screaming and shrieking how he did it...I remembered what passion feels like. The passion children feel when they express things that mean something special and magickal to them cannot be measured. I miss that passion...that zeal...that utter joy. As I watch my baby grow up, I am remembering who I was...who I AM. I like it...

Taoting Mo: The Never Ending Story

So, times are hard for everyone...I know this for a fact. I am not crying the blues saying my blues are bluer than your blues. But for the love of all that is Holy...I need a break in life! What am I doing here? I am talented and smart! Why am I constantly lamenting the woes of the po'??? I need to change my life. I need to NOT compromise ( for a freakin' change)! I need to cow girl the freak UP and not listen to anyone but ME!
I can do it! I know I can! But why, why, oh, why, do I need to ask others' oppinions? I am a fully capable and fairly functioning woman...why do I need approval??
Oh!!!!!! This is what dampens my soul and aches my heart! All of my life I have needed acceptance! No more, I am declaring on my blog of 2 followers!!!! No mo fo Mo!!!!! I want to scream...and rage...and pillage, for God's sake!!!! I am over it!!!!!
Love you...ciao, ciao...until next time...I bid you a sweet adieu....

My First Blog...What To Say What To Say...

Hi, my name is Mo. This is my first blog so be gentle with me :)
I am a wife, a mother, and an eccentric...As such, I have come to a place in my life where I am wondering where I fit in my life as ME...hence my need to blog!
I will be honest, I have NO IDEA how to start! The whole blogging thing is kind of a trip...on one hand, as a writer, I think it is a fabulous means of journaling...On the other hand, I wonder why the hell anyone really cares what I think or do daily! Am I so self inflated that I think my thoughts should be read by all? Well...yeah...I guess so lol...I mean, I am articulate, witty, smart, and confident...Am I?...Ummm...what do you think??...Oh, God, what if I'm not all of those things?! What if my mama lied when she told me how special I would always be?! What if my ex husband is right and I'm just a dramatic psycho?! What if you all hate me?!...Haha! Simmer the hell down now...I am not gonna use you as my therapist...well, not all the time anyway...and I can be kind of fabulous at times...and I'm fun! Fun, fun, fun!!!! So, relax...next time I come back, I will have something pretty freakin' profound to say...lol...Night. Mama needs to get to bed.